Alan's Annoyances 6: Dining Out
A tongue-in-cheek (pun intended) mini rant about some of the things that drive me crazy when eating at pubs and cafes. (No fancy restaurants for me! 🤣)
“Well, there are some episodes of Peppa Pig I haven’t seen…”
1. Concrete mixers
“What? Has this turned into a review of building tools?”
No, I mean people who talk with their mouths full of food. You see it all getting mashed up in there — rather like a concrete mixer on a building site.
And the sound! Don’t get me started on the sound!
All their words are slurred because the food interferes with their ability to speak.
2. The loud iPad
I understand children like to entertain themselves using technology, and I’m not trying to stop them.
What I don’t like is when they play a video on their iPad at full volume in public.
The people at my table can’t hear me unless I shout — and then it sounds like I’m angry.
(Occasionally, I might even get distracted enough to start listening to the video instead of the people I’m with! Well, there are some episodes of Peppa Pig I haven’t seen… 😂)
3. Dirty tables or cutlery
Even before Covid, nobody wanted a dirty knife and fork. Or a sticky table that has barely been wiped.
It’s such simple, basic stuff. And there is no excuse.
4. The noisy group
Some people have super-human mouths.
I don’t know how they do it, but they manage to speak so loudly that it’s like they have a built-in amplifier.
Sitting near a group that makes me wish for ear defenders is not much fun.
5. Inadequate ordering apps
At places without table service, joining a long queue to order food makes my heart sink. So I love it when I can order using my phone.
Unfortunately, many apps do not cater for all the available variations. For example, my fiancée often chooses a jacket potato instead of chips, and a decaf hot drink. But those are often things that only the staff can select.
What annoys you the most when dining out? Please let me know in the comments section below.
Thank you for reading!
~ Alan ~
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When I imported with 2022 Medium story into Substack in 2025, I changed the main photo. Below is tone original one, from when I was experimenting with AI image generation.
Hot food served on cold plates!